10 Fantastic Tips To Get Influenza To Ruin Your Blogging Career

My family has been sick on and off for about a month and a half.  But then, out of nowhere, my son brings home Influenza-A.K.A. The Flu.  This Flu is so nasty it knocked all six of us on our butts.  This Flu is so powerful that half of my son’s class called in sick on the same day.  This Flu is so dangerous that it made our local news due to nearly 100 missing kids last week from school.  I don’t have any idea on how to beat the Flu.  She is a sinister, deceptive lady that I hope none of my readers (I wish I had more than 1 reader) ever come across.  But I do know how she can kill your blogging career…and I would like to share those time-tested tips with you fantastically healthy people today:

1. Make sure your kids are nice and friendly to other kids so they are touching and playing with every dog-gone kid on the playground.
2. Remember to greet your child at the door every day after school with a hug and a kiss so Influenzacan have time to fester in your blogging body.
3. Make sure your toddler chews on and licks every stinkin’ toy you own so even your babies have a chance to catch the Flu Express. 
4. Tell your kids to share their Halloween candy because you can never have enough festering Flu Bugs in one house.
5. Always have your kids give daddy a kiss and hug before bed.  You don’t want him left out of the Influenza carnival, do you?
6. Make sure you kid plays on the computer and coughs all over it.  Make it a good cough now, everyone who gets near the computer must get the Flu!
7. Spy on your little one to double check he is drinking out of the milk jug.  It is very important to let Influenza know she is welcome in your dairy products.
8. Make sure that when your babies spit up that your toddler puts her finger in it and “tests” it.  We can’t be too careful when it come the Influenza Circus.
9. Now make sure to eat extra helpings of your Halloween candy.  We must have a full tummy of bad-for-you food when Influenza decides to show her face.
10. Be prepared for 5-7 days of non-stop flu-filled fun that the whole family will share and enjoy. 
11. This is an extra tip on me:  make sure your toilet is clean, all your pots and bowls are clean, and your bathtub is free of bath toys…because you can and will ride the Influenza Express anywhere…and remember…these Influenza tips can be applied to school and other jobs!  Now go…The Flu is waiting!

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